Add them here!

This isn't really funny so much as annoying, but Milly says 'huh' all the time! Try to get her to say pardon but she's having none of it.

Why aren't I allowed to jump on my bed I heard you and daddy jumping on yours last night! Oooops

haha nice

My daughter Alexis 3 was watching tv with me and an ad for shampoo came on and she said she wanted some of that, I said to her I dont think so, it was a nit shampoo, so the answer to that was I will need it soon! (just hope she doesn't)

my son loves pepperami and saw the black firestick (the hottest) when he started eating it he started screaming 'its burning!' and put the pepperami under the tap, when i asked what he was doing he replied 'making it go cold!' hes 5 and a half.

Rofloflofl, some good 'uns there,.

my son whos 3 stares at ppl so much its actually embarrising but 1 day we were on the bus and this man got on with what i hope was a birthmark on his cheek which troy spots and goes "mum see that dog over there" yes i said " well i think he just pooed on that mans face!! i did not know where to look my face was glowin while troy was just sittin there frowning at this poor mans face

not so long ago i was talkign to my son about body parts, his lil face lit up n said " so one day i will get bobos (boobs) like you and a winke like grandad". . thank gawd i was in doors n no body was about.cause i didnt know wether to laugh or be embarrised.

Went to the co-op today with my Daughter Ellie (4). We got some flowers for my wife, and while we were walking through the rest of the shop, I brushed against the basket she was carrying with the flowers in.
There were loads of people around, and in full voice Ellie said
"Daddy! Be careful not to spoil the flowers. If you do, then mummy will be sad, and you'll have to sit on the naughty chair."

PML


Tyler explained to me & Rob yesterday that willys came in 2 sizes:

Widgeys are small ones &


wodgers are big ones!! god knows where he got it from pml

hes 4 btw

guess who's got the Wodger

a 4 yr old at nursrey today told me that she had to go home early today as she was going to the doctors to get an infection!! bless her she meant injection!

my son is quite proper when it comes ot his nan on the comp,, he was sittign there with her doing a cbeebies thing n me mother asked him if she was doing the puzzle rigth in which my son quite proudly goes" no nan,, youhave to doit liek this see" n he shows her how to do the cbeebies puzzle..

This happened a good few years ago. Me and my mum were taking my young cousin out for the day. All she kept doing was sucking her thumb so my mum said " if you keep doing that you'll get a tummy ache and your tummy will swell up" My cousin looked rather worried and stopped immediately. While waiting for a bus home a heavily pregnant lady joined the queue, and my cousin piped up " I know what you've been doing" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol! Adorable!

when i had my second child. my son who was 2 at the time could not understand why she sleept all the time. when the health visitor came out she asked him if he liked having a baby sister, he told her 'yes but she had to go back cos she was broken he eyes did not work' how thier little minds work.

my nephews first word started with t and rhymed with bat!!
my brother was not popular with the in-laws!!!

ask my nephew what mummy does he says nag nag nag ask him what aunty becky does he says moan moan moan ask him what nanny does he says goes blackpool ask him what he does he says farts lmao

This morning while i was getting my daughter ready for school, she looked at her chest and said it was small, but when she gets biggger then her chest will get bigger and then she can wear one of those white things.(she meant a bra)!! she's only 3.

One hour into a very crowded four hour train journey i was flirting with a really cute black guy, just a few smiles you know how it goes. My little girl thought it a good time to ask in a very loud voice "Mummy does he have a black willy". There were more than a few titters. It wasn't the most comfortable journey i've ever had!

alcohol doesn't solve problems, but milk does

i remember wen i woz a lil kid, about 6 yrs old, n ma mum n her friend picked me up from skool, n told me we were having curry 4 dinner, so i thought id ask if we were havin condoms wiv it . . . i fink i shud hav sed poppadams lmao

pml

i fink i wud hav prefered eatin poppadoms too, too think i wanted 2 eat some nasty rubber wiv ma curry lmao

you can get curry flavoured ones!!!

yuck! pml they wud b nasty . . .

ive never tried.......

lol, i dont ant to . . . :S

I dont know how to do a smiley that sez it all!!!!!!

Can you really get curry flavoured ones?! Yuck!

yes and other horrible ones to numerous to mention.its good to be a bad catholic!!!!

lol, dont even think satan would give you the ok to taste condoms!

lol its a nasty thought . . .

subject change i think lol

might be a good idea that mark . .

one of my few ones

curry condoms?

curry?

condoms?

whatever next?

garlic bread?

garlic?

bread??????????????????????

(my peter kay impression)

pml

firm?

breasts?

Firm breasts

hee hee

back to breasts again *yawn*

my boyfreinds nice was having her sunday lunch and this old lady came up 2 her and was saying she had come to this same pub 4 years and watched this little girl grow up and the lady had a realy tight perm and she just came ouy with "wots rong with your hair" it was funny ha ha

i took my son swimming we were in the changing room getting changed and this woman took of her bra my son said awww tittys like in daddys book i went bright red

i was sat in a cafe , with my neice one day about 2 and a half she was and she grabed my boobs with both hands and said what are these and i had a polo neck top on so it wasnt like you could see them or anything and they arnt big., loads of people was looking and laughing as it was busy of coarse.

when i had my baby i breastfeed her, my neice came round to see us all the time, she was three, one day she had her dolly with her and i was just starting to feed my baby, so my neice sat next to me lifted her top up and put her dolly to her boob, i was in stitches of laughter

aww bless her, gettin in the practise now, so she does it right when its time 4 her 2 have kids

We went to the hair dressers today to get Sarah+Ellies hair cut. Ellie had hers done, so me+her were sitting waiting for Sarah.
Hairdressers, about 6 women in there, 1 man (me).
I lifted Ellie up to sit on my lap... she said loud enough for everyone to hear "But I might hurt your willy!" as I put her down.
Ah children bless em

LMAO

i was in the cafe one day with my neice, it was busy, she was 2 1/2 and she grab my boobies and said what are these, i didnt no where to look and i could hear people laughing.
i no its funny things kids say but still though i would tell you.

Years ago remember my younger sister pointing out a dog saying there's the durex dog instead of the Dulux dog.......

well when i took my 4year old neice to the town with me, she said sheneeded the toilet, so i took her to the closest ones, i told her to run ahead as it was only round thecorner, so she did. next thing i know she wasnt round the corner or in thegirls toilets, then she appeared from the boys toliets and said "oopss wrong ones". so i took her into the girls toilets and into the empty cubicle. next thing i know she was stood up over the toilet as if she had a willy. i said what you doing, you haveto sit down. " But auntie Gemma, the man in the other toilet was standin up" i didnt no wether to laugh or not!!!

The funniest one i ever heard was this kid went to his teacher and said he,d just found a dead cat...... to which the teacher asks how do you know its dead? Kid replies because i just p***** in its ear.The teacher,horrified hollers you did WHAT???????? Kid replies you know Psssssst and it did,nt react! lol

offit arnt they